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13 November 2017
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Keeping a wedge in the door to allow access

I’ve just returned from the Leaders in Healthcare conference 2017, and have spent the last couple of days hearing about the amazing achievements of colleagues who have moved mountains while doing undergraduate training.

That’s not me.

At medical school I aimed for a pass. I chose during core medical training to have children and accept that my career would fall behind my peers. Yet I now want to learn more and be involved in leadership, and I’m wondering if there is a place for me among these high fliers.

There was a moment when I looked at the decisions which affect my life and wondered where the common sense was? Do these people understand what it is like to live this experience? I decided I needed to find a voice so that I can influence the decisions.

So, 8 years after medical school with a couple of posters on my CV and not much else, I saw an opportunity. I did a leadership fellow post in Yorkshire and Humber, which has shifted my entire perspective. I am naturally an introvert and struggle with pushing myself forward, but many people who meet me now don’t realise that.

People tell me that I’m doing well in the roles and projects that I have taken on, but what if I hadn’t been in a position where I could take a year out of training? What about the skills and talent of those who don’t have the motivation that I did, and why should we have to be unhappy with the system to want to improve it?

It was a common point of conversation at Leaders in Healthcare because so many colleagues are looking for a pathway to guide them further up into leadership.

I worry that the pathway needs access for those of us who discover leadership later in our training. While in Core medical training, I was struck by the skills and compassion of some of the registrars that I worked with - but they wouldn’t have described themselves as leaders, it was simply their way of working.

Reflecting now I wonder whether I offer that same leadership to those I work with - I’m not sure I do.

Those interactions when I’m oncall and under pressure are probably a more telling demonstration of my leadership skills than my ability to attend training sessions and discuss the attributes of a great leader.

It’s a challenge to work out how to influence behaviours, to distribute compassionate leadership throughout the NHS and far beyond my influence. Perhaps that is part of the problem; that we see this as something elusive and beyond our control. Bruce Keogh said in his talk on the closing day of Leaders in Healthcare that he realised as an NHS consultant he had a role and responsibility in improving how the NHS works. We all need to realise the same, no matter what our role, title, grade or qualifications.

I hope that developing leadership in the NHS means doing it for those in clinical roles who think it’s not for them, or that they left it too late, as well as the nurturing of those with clear talent and drive.

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